It’s official

I’ve completely moved into Master’s house! I packed up and moved all my stuff on Saturday. Yesterday was the first full day I lived here. 

I had worried about feeling like a guest here, after all we are with his mom for this month, but I think that feeling will dissipate. I’ve settled most of my things and I have a room to myself.  We have my gaming consoles set up and it’s my space to go whenever I want to do my own thing. Mostly it’s for me to have when Master is sleeping. 

I’m feeling happy with this change. It still hits me sometimes that this is my home. I’m so used to coming here to hang out most of they day and then returning to my place at some point. I catch myself at the moment the thought is about to enter my mind and remember that this is my home now. It’s an adjustment but I’m liking it. 

My sister came over last night to watch a show with me that we watch every Sunday and it was great having her over. I’m going to miss her more and more as the days go on. I loved living with her, we are best friends. I know this move was great for both of us. She is with another of her best friends in a beautiful apartment, living on her own for the first time with someone that isn’t family. My sister is newly 21 and I know she’s about to have a fun year. 

I wish I could stay home today. There are a few more things I want to get done but work must be attended to… 

Not myself

I’m feeling weak today. I feel an intense need to be broken and that’s leading to feelings of guilt. I have been completely stressed out lately about everything…Master being sick. Moving out this weekend. Paying bills. Finding a new apartment. Switching bills into my name. Calling everywhere to change forwarding addresses. Getting school together. 

I don’t feel like myself today. I’m going through the motions but I’m not truly living them. I did spend the afternoon with Master and he brought me to life a few times but he could tell something was wrong. I told him it was just the overall stress of everything. He gave me a look of pure concern and I broke down and started to cry. After a bit of talking I admitted I felt like I needed to be broken and I didn’t want to make him feel bad for not being able to do that right now.  

He laid with me in his arms letting me cry out my stresses. He reassured me that everything will always work out. We will always make it through. All the pieces will be in place soon. Then we can continue going and face what comes next together. 

I had written this post yesterday and after talking with Master I did feel better but as soon as I left to go home all the feelings came back. I couldn’t snap out of it all night. Today I am much better. I’m going to see Master and I know if I need to talk about anything he will always listen. 

Moving in

At the end of this week I will be out of my apartment and moved into Master’s house. I’m excited about the move but I know there will be a lot of changes. I do have some mixed feelings at the moment and I don’t want them to overshadow the happiness I have about living with the love of my life. Some things have been running through my head..

I won’t have a place of my own to go back to. I think that’s going to be the biggest adjustment for me. I value my alone time. I like doing my own thing. But I also love spending time with Master. I’m with him everyday as it is and most of the time I don’t want to leave him but I am always aware that I have my own space to go to at the end of the day. 

It’s hitting me that this is the last time I will ever live on my own. Master and I are starting our lives together. I am beyond thrilled about it but it means that this part of my life is ending and I’m beginning something new. Something great, yes, but new. And I’m not the greatest at adjusting. 

I think all of my mixed feelings will even out when I find how wonderful it will be to spend each day with Master. I get to come home to him each evening. I get to cook for him, which makes me really happy because he loves my cooking. I get to sleep next to him each night. I get to wake up to him every morning. These things aren’t foreign to me, I do spend a lot of time at his house already, however it will be my house now too. 

Master’s mom is living in the house too so we won’t be alone until we move to the apartment in a couple months. She’s great and I feel completely at home with her but I’m sure living day to day is another story. I’m not too worried but I don’t want to be living with her for an extended amount of time. I would so much rather have Master all to myself and have a space we can call our own. Although I think this little transition period of living with his mom until we move out could be a good thing. Especially with Master being sick I’m glad to have her with us for the time being. Right now we aren’t stable enough to be out on our own. 

After work tomorrow I’ll start packing some stuff. It won’t take long, I don’t have much and it’s only going about 20 minutes away from where I live now. Leaving my sister will be a little tough. We’ve lived together for a year now and it’s been a lot of fun! I’ll miss her but of course she won’t be far. 

I’m ready for these changes. I just can’t wait to see how they turn out. I know that with Master everything will be great. As he says, we will always make it through anything. ❤️

Back to reality

I’ve been on vacation this entire week and although I haven’t had to work things have been rather busy. Master is on the road to getting answers about his health, thank goodness. I visited my parents and met up with an old friend. I’ll be back in the ‘normal’ swing of things tomorrow but I’m not ready! I want more time to get things organized. Man it flies by…

The unknown

Master is sick. He’s been sick, but things are evolving into much more than we ever thought. 

His symptoms started gradually over a year ago and have led us to where we are today. There is no diagnosis yet and that weighs on Master. He dwells on what it could be and what the treatment would be. I don’t like to see him sick but it’s harder when he is worrying about it. I tell him to not stress because we can’t do anything more than what we are doing. 

Appointments have been scheduled all throughout this month with a cardiologist, nephrologist, endocrinologist, and neurologist. Master has gone through quite a few tests and has been pricked for blood more than he’d like to but we are getting closer to an answer. As it is Master can’t drive or work anymore. The dizziness comes and goes all day long and I see he’s unsteady on his feet. 

I hate seeing Master’s body betray him and start breaking down. I can see it makes him feel weak because this is out of his control. I’ve been working to anticipate his every need; driving him where he needs to be, making him food, keeping a calm assured demeanor. I broke down last night and told him that I am worried about all of it. He is my everything. The complete love of my life. Fearful thoughts have fluttered through my mind and I have to quickly shove them away. I have to focus on the facts and positives. 

Master is strong and so am I. We will always make it through. 

Surprises

Master hasn’t been feeling well lately. It comes and goes but overall he definitely isn’t himself. Play time isn’t even a focus since all I want is for him to feel better. 

Yesterday Master surprised me though! We were laying in bed and Master pulled out his cock to have me service him. I was surprised that it could be on his mind at the particular moment. Only a few hours before he had a pounding headache and wanted to just lay down. 

I started slow and gentle. The sighs coming from Master were music to my ears. Before long he was rubbing his cock on my face and stroking himself in front of me. We both absolutely love when he lays my head on his stomach, making me watch as he strokes his manhood only inches from my face. He periodically uses my mouth to moisten himself and then lays me back down to sit and watch. Mmmm just thinking about it makes my mouth water! 

Master finished on my face, streaks of his cum dripping down the side and some managing to get in my eye. Probably because I took my sweet time to wipe if off. ( By the way, ouch! My eye was red and irritated for a long while, not that I minded 😉 )

I curled up next to Master with a big smile on my face until it came time for me to leave. Then later that night before I went to bed Master texted me, You will cum for me tonight. For being a good girl and taking care of me when I hurt.

It was so unexpected! I went to lay down as soon as I could and called Master just seconds before my orgasm to thank him and let him hear how much I enjoyed it. Ahhh I always feel a thousand pounds lighter after I cum. It was a great ending to my day. 

A new set of rules

I finally updated my rules! Master gave me a new list so I condensed things onto this page. You guys might find it interesting what rules we have currently. Things change fairly often and I’m sure there will be more changes in the coming months as Master and I adjust to living together. Only a few more weeks! I’m excited 🙂

Catching up

My punishment ended yesterday and I was allowed to ask permission to cum. Which Master let me!! Woo!! Oh I felt so relaxed after… I just wanted to lay there forever! Two weeks was a very long time for me, especially when Master has been using me quite a bit the last week. 

Surprisingly we’ve been able to spend more time together even with our work schedules. We had a lovely day trip to pick up a new mattress. We got to see my parents as well as his dad before leaving at the right time to avoid the rain. We had a big monsoon storm roll in on Tuesday and needed to get the mattress back as dry as possible! Which, thank goodness, we managed to do. 

I’m relieved to have received a promotion which will make my life substantially easier financially. Plus, not to toot my own horn too much, this is a promotion I feel I truly earned. 

I will be moving in with Master at the end of this month. I can’t believe the time has come so fast. I’m excited to be able to come home to him everyday. There are a lot of changes coming up but I’m ready to take them on and see what happens! 

Birthday hiatus

I have been wonderfully busy with birthday celebrations. My sister turned 21 and I turned 24! 

Master came over and spoiled me with very thoughtful gifts. I was impressed at the subtleties he thought of. 

I’m not one who gets overly excited for an upcoming birthday but when the day arrives I’m reminded of all the people in my life that care about me. Some I’ve been out of contact with for quite some time, others I see everyday. It’s heartwarming to hear those around you express things you already know but don’t often hear. 

I’m so thankful for everything I have in my life. One of those things is this blog! This is my first birthday as a blogger, hopefully the first of many. 

I’ll be back soon with an update about Master and I but until then I’m going to continue celebrating this weekend 😉 talk with you soon! 

Lately

I feel overwhelmed with what’s going on lately. Master and I spoke about the issue we were having, about me not following a protocol. I haven’t even wanted to write about it…it’s been on my mind so much recently along with a bunch of other things and I haven’t wanted to spend any of my ‘free’ time to get it on paper. 

Master knows why I stopped following the protocol, it’s because I had requested the protocol in the first place and I interpreted his recent attitude as disinterest in the protocol. I know it wasn’t the right thing to do. At the time my emotions were getting the better of me. 

I was free to express my opinions to Master last night. I told him many things, among them was this: yes, I was wrong to stop protocol but I don’t feel I’m the only one at fault. If I’m failing and Master doesn’t notice isn’t that a sort of failure of his own? I will take all the blame because it was my fault not following protocol but I wanted Master to see a little of my side. 

At the end of my talk I asked for a written list of protocols that are all up to date and exactly what he wanted. Agreeing that this was a great idea Master said “okay I’ll write a list for you tomorrow, I promise”. 

I only mention what he said because it backfired in a way.. While we were hanging out this afternoon I jokingly mentioned to Master that he can be a procrastinator. He joked back and we continued whatever we were doing. Later Master asked me if I really thought he was a procrastinator. I told him no, I think he gets a lot of good ideas in his head and doesn’t always get around to them. He was laughing and asking for examples. I couldn’t think of any on the spot and just gave a general answer. He shot back saying it can’t be true if I can’t think of an answer. I stopped laughing and looked him in the eye, “Do you have the list of protocols for me Master?” His face fell and I heard a sigh before I turned to go use the restroom.

This exchange happened right before I was about to leave and we did the usual goodbye and I love you’s. When I got home Master texted me saying I need to be less demanding and give him a break because there’s a lot going on in his life. Of course I know this! That’s why I haven’t wanted to stress him out any further. I also didn’t demand a list, I simply mentioned that he forgot it. I’m not asking for more or demanding anything, I just want to make things easier for him. 

I think I hit a nerve with making Master aware of things he misses with me. Details he overlooks because of all that is going on. No one wants to hear they aren’t doing that great. I know I don’t like hearing when I’ve not been a good slave. But Master isn’t immune to wrong doing. He has valid reasons to be distracted, but I don’t want him coming down harder on himself or me because he’s trying to juggle too much. I want to do whatever makes things easier for him. For now I will be focusing on my service, but even tonight I know Master and I need more discussion.